He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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