I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
