I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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