In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
