Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
