let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
