Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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