I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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