loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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