Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
