Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
