Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
