i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Randomize
