everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
