Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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