do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
