OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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