I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
