careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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