I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
