he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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