i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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