No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
