hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
