I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
