It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
