i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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