Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
