I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
