So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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