So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
