Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
