Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
