So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
