Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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