you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
