just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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