yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
