just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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