I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
my poor anus
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
