Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
