she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
