This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
