People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
