Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
