It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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