You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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