i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
