Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
