Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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