You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
