I'm going to jail i love you
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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