I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
