can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
do nipples grow back?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
