I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
pray to the hookup gods
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
