How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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