I'm drive I can fine osifer
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
