weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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