You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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