At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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