Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
