When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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