I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
